Lauren London recently opened up about how she’s coping after the death of rapper Nipsey Hussle almost three years ago.

London and Hussle dated for five years, and had a son together, Kross Ermias, who’s now 5, in 2016. The California native was fatally shot in Los Angeles in March 2019. Since then London has remained mostly off the radar.

“When you have this plan for your life, as you should, if or when that gets derailed, and you have plan B now to go off that you didn’t plan on, it is the ultimate test of surrender,” the actress, 37, said during an interview on Jay Shetty’s podcast On Purpose, People Magazine reported. “Because at the end of the day, as much control as we think we have, we do not.”

London says she has learned to go with the flow and “surrender” going through the grief process.

“It’s actually very powerful to surrender — we think that it’s a weakness, but it’s so much power in letting go and flowing with the river because life is going to do what it’s going to do,” London said. “We are all going to get chin-checked by life one way or another — so I might as well focus on my enlightenment and roll with the river and not fight with the rocks.”

London previously talked about how she used her personal pain to help prepare for her character in Without Remorse, the 2021 film starring Michael B. Jordan currently streaming on Amazon Prime Video. The project marked London’s first role since Hussle’s passing.

“Mike reached out to me personally and gave me some insight on the film and what they were looking for,” London told theGrio during a May 2021 interview.  “Honestly, with my personal experience with grief and loss and pain and moving forward just in life, I just want to make sure that I can give art some honesty and some truth.”

She said she went back to work after the tragic death to set an example for her two children.

“We can’t stop, you know? We do have a purpose, all of us, and it’s important for my sons to see me moving forward with grief, not just curling up in a ball, because I curled up in a ball for a long time,” she told Entertainment Tonight.

“But especially for my eldest son because he’s just a little more aware … But we will continue moving on as we had to, as he would want us to,” London said. The actress celebrated what would have been Hussle’s 36th birthday, on Aug. 15, 2021, with a tribute on Instagram.

“Happy Birthday My King! I Love You Today and Forever Missing you is just apart [sic] of my DNA and I wear it with honor,” she wrote at the time, adding, “Kross reminded me that you are ’36’ like me. 💙✨ 1 of 1 Hussle The Great there will never ever be another.”

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