Juicy Love Dion lasted a long time during RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 18 due to grit, determination and dancing skill. But still, she was sent home before the finals.

Despite sounding discouraged, Dion told Blavity’s Shadow and Act that she has made peace with the elimination.

“In this late in the game, they’re not just choosing what happens in the lip sync. They’re choosing who is gonna represent the show better,” she said. “I think in that moment, RuPaul just did not choose me to go forward. And that’s just about it. I mean, it’s just that simple, you know? There’s nothing I can do to change it.”

“I’ve asked myself that question so many times,” she said regarding the possibility of whether she could have done anything differently. “Unfortunately, there’s just literally nothing I can do. I can’t go back in time and change it, so I’ve had to come to the point of just accepting it, and that’s what it is. That’s what RuPaul chose. That’s what she wanted and there’s not much else I can do.”

She said that she doesn’t remember much of the lip sync, adding that she “kind of blacked out.”

“All I remember is at the end of the lip sync, I just started crying,” she said. “I just felt so defeated already. I think I already knew, my body already knew. And I think in Untucked, I was literally like, ‘Yeah, I feel they’re just gonna send me home. They don’t even have to make me lip sync.’ It just felt like it was my time, unfortunately. But I fought hard, girl. I tried my best.”

On the final challenge and critiques

Dion said that she didn’t expect the final challenge to be a live talk show. As a result, she said she felt like “the rug was pulled out from under my feet in a way.”

“It was a bit nerve-wracking ’cause I’m not someone that watched talk shows, so it definitely felt like I was in an uphill battle. I just told myself, ‘Juicy, you did good in the last two, you could do it again. You got this.’ And I was trying to psych myself up. But ultimately [the challenge] was not something that I necessarily wanted to do.”

“I mean, of course I wanted to give myself the benefit of the doubt and try to pull it off and be able to pull it off,” she added. “I don’t think I felt horribly about it. It was definitely a challenge for me, per se. Personally, I don’t know how the other girls felt, but I did know I’ve surprised myself before [and] I think I can pull it off again. So I definitely went in with the highest hopes and ended up crushed during critiques. So it was a very hard episode for me, for sure.”

On RuPaul’s “Who are you?” moment

Dion has weathered other harsh critiques, such as RuPaul asking her the now-infamous question, “Who are you?”.

“There was more that was not show because it wasn’t just, ‘Who are you?’. I mean RuPaul had me answer,” Dion said. “In that moment, I had flashbacks to the moments that I have asked myself those questions before. I have had that thought on my mind of like, ‘Okay, you’re losing who you are, Juicy. You’re falling down a dark path and you’re losing who you are.’ So when RuPaul asked me that, it felt like all of that hiding was for nothing. I was not hiding it well enough, and she saw right through it.”

“When she asked me that question, it brought up a lot of internal emotions that I had kept behind a wall,” she added. “But that’s why Ru is where she is, because it’s her job to see people for who they are and bring that out of them on this national platform to share their stories correctly, not through a facade. RuPaul made me face those demons, made me face the darkest parts of myself in the middle of the competition, and tested me to really persevere through it all. And, you know, I really fought my hardest to stay there, do good and make RuPaul proud, so it was definitely more than just a competition for me. It was like a therapy session as well. So I’ve come out of it a different person and way, way stronger.”

Representing Miami and the Dion dynasty

Dion also described her personal mission to represent for the Dion dynasty and Miami, especially as the last Dion standing.

“I felt like I had to make them proud, Athena [Dion] and Mia [Starr], especially,” she said. “In my hotel room, I had two notes–one from Mia and one from Athena. Both [were] words of encouragement I would look at every morning just to remind myself to keep my head up before walking into those studio doors. I did feel a lot of power from them, thankfully. But you know, ultimately, I couldn’t take it all home. I couldn’t make it across the finish line and that did crush me a bit. But of course, they were both so kind about it. Both [of them] are still so proud of me.”

“I just hope I made everyone from back home proud,” she added. “I feel like Miami has been trying to get in the top of Drag Race. Miami has been trying to get on Drag Race for years and we had Latrice [Royale], but I think Latrice ended up in the same position as me. This is as far as Miami has made it, but we’re gonna keep fighting. We have some stars back home and I think Miami is gonna snatch the crown one day.”

What’s next after ‘Drag Race’

As for what she hopes is in her future post-Drag Race, Dion said she is ready for Dancing with the Stars to call her.

“Oh my God…I want to be on Dancing with the Stars so bad,” she said. “I would love to give them a cute little foxtrot one week, a jive the next week. Give me some Argentinian tango, I’ll do the Viennese waltz, I’ll give them anything they want. Dancing with the Stars casting is my biggest goal right now.”

“I want to be everywhere,” she added. “I want to do all the brand deals, I want to perform all over, in every country, anywhere I can. Drag has given me the opportunity to travel the world and share my talents, and I’m just so excited to see where it takes me.”

The season finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race airs April 17 at 8/7c on MTV.